Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn has roses.
Life is already stressful enough, letting yourself get worked up over every little thing that doesn’t go your way will bring nothing but unnecessary headaches and negative vibes.
I don’t know when it started but I’ve found myself always complaining about every little thing. I’m one of those “Tcheeww, nawa o” people. Infact, it became a bad habit I so desperately want to eliminate.
I was posted to serve in Kwara state. I wasn’t happy when I received my callup letter online that night.
This, my friends was what I really felt like doing to my phone. Don’t ask me what stopped me -_-
I couldn’t even sleep anymore after I saw it.
I had a lot of whys. Like why did this so called NYSC people have to pick Kwara state of all the 4 states I chose??? Why wasn’t I posted to a cool state like Port Harcourt like my brother? Why didn’t they just pity me and maybe throw me to my fourth choice, Enugu state? Why did I even pick Kwara!?
This past one month, I’ve watched myself complain about every little thing. I complain about my ppa (place of primary assignment), working a 9 to 5, my boss, the fuel scarcity in Ilorin and how it’s affecting transport fare, bills… Fam, literally everything!
I’ve noticed that, the more I complain, the more I find more things to complain about. And it never gets better. It always made me sad and fail to appreciate the little things in life.
I decided to start working on it by reading and doing more research. I discovered that complaining affects our physical health negatively.
You just feel really dissatisfied with everyone and everything. Negative stress doesn’t just make us feel awful emotionally, it can also aggravate serious health problems such as; heart diseases, obesity, gastrointestinal problems and even diabetes!
Here are tips that has helped (and is still helping) lessen my habit of constantly complaining:
1. Accept the changes and Learn to Adapt.
There’s this beautiful quote by Robin Sharma I saw on google about change. It says:
Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end
Change of state. Change of environment. Different culture. Different people. Everything seemed so different from what I was so used to back then in Lagos.
The people, the markets, recreation centers, roads, food, even the transportation! (lol, transportation is also by road but there are fewer buses in Ilorin compared to Lagos, they make use of mostly cabs!).
I’m not used to living alone, being on my own completely/ looking after myself, working a 9 to 5 and the frequent Yoruba speaking.
Unlike in Lagos, where most people are speaking English. In Ilorin, they just assume you’re also Yoruba and you should understand what they’re saying. Until you give them this “I don’t understand Yoruba” look, even some still wouldn’t get it and would go on speaking to you (face palms).
Shocking fact: I lived in Lagos for about 9years and I didn’t learn Yoruba, only because I wasn’t interested and I didn’t think it was really necessary. Besides, my environment played a major part in my ‘not being able’ to learn it.
I’m surrounded by English speaking humans 24/7. The only time I get to actually speak Yoruba is when I go to the market to get some foodstuff – especially fresh pepper, the women selling speak only Yoruba and I only know “Mo fe ra atarodo/tatashey/rhodo” (in English: “I want to buy atarodo/tatashey/rhodo” please go and look for the English name of the peppers).
I’m gradually adapting here though (even if I have to by force), February 11th would officially make it one month since I started living here and I can beat my chest and say my Yoruba speaking skills have gone up a notch.
At least, now I know more than just the basics like “come, go, eat, sit, stand”. Fam, I can make a sentence (even if it’s short) now! 🙂 I’m getting there.
Life changes are just inevitable
One sure thing about life is that nothing stays the same. That change would still come whether it’s tomorrow, next month or next year.
Although some would be good, others would be significantly sad. You have to take up the challenge to see the positive in every situation.
2. Change the way you look at things.
Wayne dyer said:
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
The more you look at the bad side of something, you’ll fail to notice any good thing about it and so you miss out on all the advantages and loads of fun and opportunities it comes with. Talking about environment now.
I changed my mind about redeploying back to Lagos State and decided to stay back and see the packages and surprises God has planned for me here.
I’m gradually adapting to this culture and it’s getting really exciting for me. I’ve decided to see this one year experience as an opportunity (e.g. to learn another language, I won’t forget the long speech my former boss gave me about the advantages of being multilingual) rather than an obstacle.
I’m excited about this journey but a bit nervous!
3. Keep moving forward
After my bitter experience at Ilorin market (post up soon), I realized it wasn’t the end of life and decided to do more research on better markets to buy food items (at cheaper amounts) from and move on with my life.
I absolutely refuse to allow my bad experiences keep me from moving forward and making progress.
Situations will annoy you. People will annoy you. BUT YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO DWELL ON THE NEGATIVITY. Spending time wallowing and crying over a spilt milk is ultimately a waste.
Channel that energy into doing something productive.
4. Sometimes, it’s not just about you
Just like smoking, being around someone who complains is also as bad. You don’t have to do it yourself to suffer the side effects.
My point is, be cautious about spending time with people who complain. Don’t form the pity party with them.
Same way you distance yourself immediately someone starts smoking, distance yourself from people who complain and whine about everything.
They emit negativity into the surrounding and you my dear, as long as you’re around them are always at the receiving end.
5. Learn to list the things you’re grateful for.
The scripture puts it better “count your blessings, name them one by one“.
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
Where you are right now is someone’s prayer point. So be grateful! For every little thing, be grateful!
Half of what you own right now, someone is happy and doing fine without it.
6. Look for a solution
Instead of waking up, complaining and automatically allowing yourself have a bad morning and a crappy day without even realizing it, why not look for a solution to that thing that’s always making you whine and complain?
Even though sometimes it feels easy to just complain rather than to find out the root cause of our problems, complaining is a pointless exercise!
Hey girl! Have you been dealing with this habit before now? What did you do to lessen it? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below so I can learn just as much from you as you do from me.